Feelings

I sometimes feel as though there is no hope, but then I look towards the sky and see the beautiful clouds and think if there was no hope then why am I here? I then look at my two beautiful children and think they are full of hope and it renews my hope just looking at them. I sometimes think, why me?? Then I pray to God and my heart fills with love and joy and the answer comes to me as... Everything happens for a reason and a good reason even if at the time I don't know what that reason is. I then once again look at my children and know not to give up my faith for I know one day my prayers will be answered on that I will be healthy again and will be able to not worry about all the "what if's.." I keep my head held high and the positive thoughts and I know that even though I have my weak moments I have and never will walk alone while I have Jesus in my heart, as well as all the loving support from my family and friends. I honestly do not know where I would be without any of them. I thank God everyday for all the wonderful people in my life. Now it's just trying to get a better understanding on this disease PSC. I am already in the beginning stages of cirrhosis, which to me is very scary and the unknown sometimes makes me feel like I am going insane but I do my best to stay in the here and now.