Donor Decision

Has anyone here had to make the decision to be a living donor or to say sorry you can't? My brother is starting his search for a donor. As much as I really really want him to get his transplant, I'm terrified about the thought of even testing. I have three young kids and the anxiety over just thinking about it is to much. I have had cholestasis of pregnancy during my second pregnancy, but it did not reoccur during the third. Otherwise I don't think there would be a health issue. Did anyone have anxiety over this? I wish I could just say yes, but feel like it's if I was the right person I should have no hesitation.

I am a PSCer and so I am not in your shoes. But I do believe that during the process of being evaluated you are able to tell the doctors that you do not wish to go forward and they will tell your brother that you are not a match. How much information they give him, I'm not sure, but they don't tell him you chose to not go through with it.

However, I must say that I would not be offended or hurt if either of my siblings told me they were too scared to go through with it. I would totally understand.

Thanks Crewmom. I'm just so torn, I'm scared and at the same time don't want to be the one would could save him and said no.

I like Crewmom's advice. I also think you need more information before deciding whether to even get tested. I typed "risks to liver donor" on google and got a lot of information.

You mentioned that if you were the right person, you should have no hesitation. You should definitely hesitate. That's part of being a sane individual.

You also wrote that you didn't think (other than what you mentioned) that there would be a health issue. Don't forget, your health also includes your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. There is a lot to consider.

I think it would be very hard to even consider parting with a part of my body. My only suggestion is to read everything you possibly can and trust yourself. You will make the very best decision you can.

Thank you Lara! I do have a packet of info from Mayo. Very scary stuff. I just hope if I decide to test or not there is a positive outcome!

Totally reasonable to be hesitant! You have three children who are dependent on you being there for them. It can’t hurt to get the info first and then decide. It is def a tough position to be in.

Thanks Dolphin5!

My sister donated half her liver to me - she has two kids. she studied the situation i.e. did her homework, 100% success rate and all, but wouldn't have hesited even if it was less. other sister same but she wasn't compatible. do your research! I wanted nothing to do with the notion of someone, let alone a loved one, going under the knife for me. I was brave enough to just die, but runs in the family they were brave enough to just insist to donate (as were a few work collegues who barely knew me). I talked to her husband and my niece and nephew to thanked them for the risk they were taking with their mom to save me. they just shrugged,happy to have me back, and they were informed too. Lots of knowledge = minor risk =minor worry = hero= biggest thing most people will ever do.

she saved me, she saved my kids father, etc etc. All done now but she's my hero, life long thanks and respect, she got award from transplant society and free dinners everywhere etc etc, and her own pride. And a new relationship with me- we share something special.