Lactulose

Ok, this will be short and sweet.

WHY IS THERE NO ALTERNATIVE TO THIS CRAP??? I'm about to go on vacation and meet the Mother of the Man of My Heart for the 1st time - do I want to be flatulent and running to the bathroom for 5 hot days in Williamsburg, Va???? Gee, do I ever!!!! NOT. Pardon my mouth, but this shit blows chunks (literally!!!!). I try to keep taking it as prescribed, but fail miserably. 45ml's/day, 4x/day - too much, too much... makes me cramp terrible and can help vacate any room within moments. I hope we have a private bathroom... Damn it!! Does anyone know something I don't?? I have looked and scoured the web, and can find no alternative. Am I just doomed to live on this crap? Oh, and when I take it, I have to wash it down with something - like a chaser! If I taste it, it comes back!!

SCREAMING AT THE UNIVERSE TONIGHT!!!!