Gloria put this very well, best I’ve seen it summarized…
“I encourage you to love your man hard but try not to tip toe around him. Involve yourself in every appointment, discussion, decision, etc. but try not to emasculate him. Easy to say to you now, but man was it hard for me then.”
This is my biggest pet peeve, my wife and mother tip toeing around me when I’m sick as if I’m a 9 year old. Sometimes certain types of men OR women, just want to suck it up and suffer through things, without everyone’s opinions and fears being projected on them. I hate with a passion being tip toed around, only second to being told I can’t do something!
Being a hard headed man myself you have perfectly described a saying here in Australia. I am the man, I wear the pants, my wife just picks the ones I wear…and if I am in trouble they are a very tight fit.
Well done in understanding your loved one and doing what needed to be be done.
@Eric1, I made it well known to my partner that I wouldn’t tolerate a refusal of my love nor would I allow him to push away people who love him; we are in this together as a team (wife, husband, child, in-laws, etc.) I apologized in advance. I told him I would be overly involved and bring up the topic more than I probably should, I would ask annoying questions trying to gauge how he felt, I would overstep boundaries when I feel it’s necessary but to please understand my naive actions are out of love and to ask me/us not to care is not an option. With the being said, I asked that he give me clear direction: How did he want medical info shared with friends and family? Are we talking about PSC/UC/TX daily or monthly or as needed? Are we living as if nothing is wrong or are we welcoming the unwanted? Can I offer opinions or do you want me to simply support you? Tell me what you would do if you saw me in pain… Once I made my feelings clear to him and he made his clear to me I felt we had a game plan. He hates talking about feelings and I talk a lot, asking him to give me it all at once was a relief I think. ;p